Breaking up... what I think about it.

Breaking up... what I think about it.
Recently some of my friends have ended their relationships with their significant others. It has been interesting, as someone who loves to study human behavior, to see the polar opposites that have been shown between the different attitudes among not only them but their friends. I am by no means an expert in relationships or break-ups; and as a disclaimer I have never had to end a relationship. The girl I dated for 2 years and I didn't fight or sit down and decide we were better off friends; our relationship dissipated into nothingness though our inability to communicate at the time. We are on great terms now and could have a civil conversation anytime.
So here is what I have to say, break-ups are not easy. One of people's biggest downfalls in life is the fear of change; which is why there is a lot of truth to Doctor House's saying, "people never change." BUT, the change of heart that occurs during a break-up does not need to be hard or ugly.
With all that said, here are my rules for break-ups:

* First, and most importantly, there was something there in the first place or you wouldn't have dated. If there was enough there to date, then there is easily enough there to be friends.
* Second, and just slightly less important than the first, MOVE ON!!! It is over, done, concluded, finished, complete, kaput; whatever word hits home for you. A wise man once said, "Remember what you learned from the past, and apply it to the problems in front of you, BUT don't look back. Not only does it hurt your neck, but it takes your eyes off the problems in front of you. Failure to do so just causes you to fall, and that hurts more than just your neck."
* Third, do not... I repeat, DO NOT make your dirty laundry public unless you want some criticism. The number one rule of politics, which is the professional version of drama, is that you don't attack an opponent unless you know what his/her next move is going to be. If your ex has a lot of support and backing, it is not the best idea to go around hanging up the metaphorical "dirty laundry." Not only does it blow up in your face but doesn't help build a relationship with the ex.
* Fourth, if you are not either of the parties that were in the relationship then BACK OFF. Please, take the time to support your friend in his/her loss but keep it at that. How can we ever expect a civil conclusion to the relationship and the start of a friendship if both sides have people throwing mud? It doesn't work and just causes hell, of which we have more than enough to deal with in this time and day already. Instead of picking up a mud pie, help him/her build a relationship with the other individual, because that truly is the best way to fix the problem.

Now as I said, I have seen recent break-ups handled in two totally opposite ways. One involved the breaking of every guideline mentioned above by either a previous member of the relationship or a friend of one of the ex-s (grammar check). I am friends with both of the parties of this unfortunate incident and have taken a neutral stance in supporting both, BUT it is very difficult when neither side of the problem can seem to put down the mud and just get along. It really isn't that hard people. The other relationship concluded with the couple just as hurt and broken as the aforementioned relationship, BUT this couple is on talking terms and as friends. They were able to do this because they have an understanding that while marriage is not on the table, friendship is. I hope this helps in any break-ups that occur in the future and that we can all learn from recent events.